You can’t control the attitudes and actions of others, but you can control how you respond. Whether you withdraw into your hurt and disappointment or lash out at the person who has hurt you, you’re only fostering uncertainty and distrust. As a Christian, you’re called to a higher level of peace in your relationships with others. God wants to heal the part of your your heart that has been hardened from those who have disappointed and hurt you. If you open your heart to the Word of God, you’ll discover that God’s love empowers you to navigate difficult relationships and the issues that may arise.
“For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set your mind on the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6 ESV).
What we set out minds on is crucial. Do we respond to our flesh or to the Spirit? We aren’t meant to act like the world. We are meant to seek God’s presence and His wisdom so that we overflow with His love. We’re not only called to survive difficult relationships; we are called to bring peace and life into them. We’re called to live at a level where others are so amazed by the Holy Spirit that they want to seek God’s help in their own relationships.
“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (1 John 4:17, NLT).
Being perfected in God’s love is maturing in our faith. As we are being perfected, we are growing into the knowledge and assurance of our relationship with Christ and the depth of His love for us.
It’s critical that we remain open and positive in our relationships so we can mature in His love. If we allow fear to control us, we will fail to connect with other people. Jesus calls us to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-14), so we cannot let fear isolate us. We are called to bring others to the Word, God’s love revealed to us in Christ.
Just as fear destroys faith, the love of God destroys fear. To get rid of fear, you must continually grow in your knowledge and understanding of God’s love for you. Fear is nothing but absolute torment; it paints pictures of a troubled future that is full of pain and disappointment. These images often come from old wounds and failures that, without an understanding of God’s love, have never healed. When you seek the Spirit’s understanding of God’s love, He speaks life and peace to you. He paints images of great hope in your mind. When you set your mind on the Lord, you begin to trust His love for the good future He has promised (Jeremiah 29:11). You discover His help when you need it the most.
No matter your trouble or uncertainty, God’s calls you to peace. Whatever your turmoil, it doesn’t need to rob you of joy and peace. God’s love is yours, and the Holy Spirit guards your peace. You can bring the Holy Spirit with you into any troublesome relationship, speaking God’s truth and imparting peace. Keeping your mind on the Spirit will stop the flesh from mastering you. God’s love will help you control your emotions, and you will start to speak life and peace into troubled relationships and hurting people.
When the love of God defeats fear, the attitudes and actions of others lose the power to control our feelings and manipulate our lives. God’s love is perfected in us. We mature in His grace. His love reaches our inner being, and taking root there, becomes the wellspring of life from which the fruit of the Spirit can flow. He speaks life and peace into us and our relationships.
I want to fully experience God’s love, changing my life. I want to receive wisdom and spiritual insight as I grow in my knowledge of Him. I long to release Jesus into the lives of those who are missing the blessings of His love. But just wanting isn’t enough. I’m called to co-labor with the Spirit so He can live through me. I must cast off the flesh’s fears, hurts, and disappointments, and walk in the Spirit, knowing that God’s love expressed through my life can bring life and peace to hurting people.
