“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (Psalm 139:7-12, NIV).
There is nowhere to run–nowhere to hide. You are everywhere I turn. You are everywhere I try to find relief that is not from you. Why do I look where I already know there will be no lasting answer? Why do I try to flee from what I know is the best for me? Why do I insist on my own way? How could I have forgotten that you you will always find me, and hold me fast?
If I think the darkness will hide my pain from you, I am so wrong. If I believe the darkness will conceal the struggles of my sinful heart, then I am wrong. I may hold myself captive with bitterness, hurt, anger, and resentment in a darkened place of no hope, but you are with me no matter where I might try to hide. You are with me in that place. You are with me in my brightness moments and my darkest days.
Lord, forgive me. Strengthen me. Raise me. Guide me. I am so tired of holding this mask in place. You will carry me through the fire, and give peace that my mind cannot comprehend. I am so thankful that nothing is hidden from you. It is in the light that all is revealed, and I let go the struggle to hide what you already know, I am finally free. In my moment, I know as I have been known. I have peace, and my joy is complete.