“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (Psalm 139:7-12, NIV).
There is no place where I can hide from your presence. You are everywhere I turn. You are everywhere I try to find relief that is not from you. Why do I look where I already know there will be no lasting answer? Why do I try to flee from what I know is the best for me? Why do I insist on my own way? How could I have forgotten that you you will always find me?
If I think the darkness will hide my pain from you, I am so wrong. If I believe the darkness will conceal the struggles of my sinful heart, then I am wrong. I may hold myself captive with bitterness, hurt, anger, and resentment in a darkened place of no hope, but you are with me no matter where I might try to hide. You are with me in that place. You are with me waiting for me to release all of it to you.
Lord, forgive me. I am so tired of holding this mask in place. I am so tired of fighting my battles alone. I give them all to you. You will carry me safely through the consuming fire of fear, and give me hope. You will strengthen me with your mighty hand. I am so thankful that nothing is hidden from you. It is in the sweet light of your presence that all is revealed. You bestow power to let go of the struggle to hide what you already know. The moment I release what I have tried so desperately to hide is the moment when I am free from what has consumed and controlled my life. I have your peace which is above my understanding, and there is no need to hide.