In Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, Levin is having a meal with his friend Stepan. He is speaking to his friend about his life and how, because of his consciousness of sin, he feels unworthy to ask for the hand of a young woman whom he considers pure and above reproach.
“When with loathing I go over my life,” Levin says. “I shudder and curse and bitterly regret it.” The one comfort Levin tells his friend is like that prayer, “Forgive me not according to my unworthiness, but according to Thy lovingkindness.”
God doesn’t forgive us according to what we have done or who we have been. God forgives us according to His lovingkindness in the gift of His Son for our sins.
"Do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance" (Romans 2:4)?
One day, the Holy Spirit stirs your heart. You become aware there is something more you need. You begin to feel incomplete. God, who loves you, is drawing you to Himself. But God is holy. You begin to be conscious of things that keep you from finding Him. You feel your unworthiness to come to Him. Yet, you still feel Him reaching for you. The more God draws you to His holiness with His love and goodness, the more you become aware of your unworthiness. The more God wants to love you and have a relationship with you, the more you bitterly regret your life. If only you could get rid of this unworthiness standing in your way so you could reach Him. If only the sins that separate you from Him could be gone. You yearn for a way to find Him.
Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:16).
No matter how much you try to find God in your own worthiness, you never will. Jesus is the goodness of God that draws you to repentance. Jesus is God’s gift of love. He is the only way to God. He is God’s truth of forgiveness and new life for you (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is only in receiving Jesus as the way to God that you receive His forgiveness. When you receive Jesus in your heart, you receive God’s righteousness and worthiness (2 Corinthians 5:21). Your sins are gone. When you receive God’s righteousness, they are no more. Nothing separates you from God.
Perhaps you once scorned God but now are conscious of your unworthiness, keeping you from God, who is pure and above reproach. God has patiently waited for you, my friend. Jesus alone makes you worthy to come to God. He alone destroys sin once and for all. The goodness of God draws you.
Just invite Him into your heart. You receive the righteousness of God that thoroughly washes away the sins that have defined your life. They are no more. Jesus gives you the gift of His worthiness so you can come freely to God without reproach. Jesus’ work of grace is perfect and finished. He takes care of what you have no power to take care of. You are reborn in Him, a new creation with no sinful nature to define you. You receive all of God’s worthiness, goodness, and love.
God’s love has drawn you to repentance. Don’t allow your sin to keep you from God, who loves and draws you to Himself. The Spirit has stirred your heart to believe. Just ask Him in and receive His goodness and love. What you have sought is finally found.
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