I AM NEW

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock” (Revelation 3:20).

I consider His priceless words. He stands and knocks at the door to my heart. He invites me to a life which I cannot comprehend with the human mind. It is a life of utter peace and trust in His abundant faithfulness–a life of spiritual joy. His invitation promises to carry me beyond my avenue of analytical thought to one of rest that no matter what happens in this life all is well. This invitation offers respite from the hectic pace of this world. “Be still and know that I am God” takes on a whole new meaning. I don’t have to struggle to understand anymore. I can find peace in just knowing He is my God, and He is in control. "Come to me,” He whispers in my tempest, “and I will give you rest." 

I long to relinquish this struggle–this pain, but my stubbornness resists that which promises release. I fight losing control, because it means that I no longer have the answer. Even when I shut the door of my heart to His knock, He never stops knocking.  Even when I reject His offer of peace, He never turns away. Even when He finds my heart all closed and barred behind my fortress of pain, He continues on in His constant offer of peace. “Let go, and let me,” He whispers. 

He begs me to let go. He begs me to trust Him. He begs me to quit trying to reason what my mind can never understand. The harder I struggle the stronger His constant knock. The harder I resist the greater my pain. Suddenly the exhaustion of my battle is too much. Suddenly I can no longer bar that door.  Suddenly, surrender is my only option. It is my only hope. It is all that I have left. I must let go and believe. I must open the door to His knock. 

So I let go of all I have tried to handle. I open the door, and incredible peace floods my heart. The peace which has waited patiently on the other side of that door is now mine. What took me so long? No more war inside my heart. No more need to know any answers. No more trying to be what I am not. I am free in Him. I am free of all which I have been.  All that has defined me has ended. I am not the same. There is only one word that describes this freedom. I am NEW.