And why have I called you
for this work? Why did I call you by name when you did not know me? It is for
the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel, my chosen one. (God chooses Cyrus to
rescue His people from exile.)
—Isaiah 45:4 NLT
Daddy, you’re living
through the one thing you never wanted to happen. Who were you today? I wasn’t
sure you knew me, and I didn’t know you. When you looked at me, I was an
outsider in your world—a person who had never impacted your life. I wanted to
run—to escape the loss of my father—to hide from the sadness that was breaking
my heart. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
I know you’re alone in
your own reality. I’m sorry you can’t understand how much you’re loved right
now—that you can’t receive or give or understand or relate or reason. When you talk,
it is a collage of events—of fairy tales—of impossible feats—of a realm where,
in your mind, you are still in control. You pilot your plane through seas and
earth. You travel in boats upon clouds that spiral out of sight. You flit
between realities as light as a fairy. You dance in a place I haven’t seen. You
see what I can’t see. You experience what I can’t experience.
Within your soul, rests
the promise that you are known. You have been called by name. Even if you don’t
always remember Him, Daddy, God always remembers you. If He called Cyrus by
name, who didn’t know Him, and equipped Him beyond his own limitations, then God
also calls you—who belongs to Him—and equips you for this hard journey. He also
equips me for this journey. We both have been called to this work. Within your
mind, the Spirit of God uses you beyond my ability to grasp. He calls you to a
reality that I can’t imagine. Within mine, I live a purpose which sometimes tears
my heart to shreds, just as Jesus’ heart was torn to shreds for me. This is His
work in me.
Dear Lord, for the sake
of your chosen people, Cyrus was anointed to rescue your children in exile. So
often, it feels like I’m in exile, too. When I can’t reach Daddy, I feel like
he is in exile. I have to remind myself that Daddy goes nowhere alone, and in his
world you are his perfect guardian. For his sake and mine and for other family
members torn asunder by his illness, you send encouragers—those you know who understand,
because they, also, have walked this valley. They come, not to rescue from the
journey—because they can’t. They come to strengthen in this valley. With their support,
this journey’s crushing weight of lonely heartbreak is lifted. And in their
midst, your comfort and strength is found. In this place from which there is no
escape, I learn that victory isn’t found on the mountain when life is perfect.
Victory is discovered in the valley when despair turns into joy.
© 2017 Lynn Lacher
www.lynnlacher.com
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