Because of Mama

I discovered something I wrote in 2014 one year after my mother died. I share it again in honor of her birthday today. She would have been 92 today.

I seem to always be discovering a treasure about my Mama. She passed away a year ago today. Somehow, after she was gone, I ended up with her workbook from a discipleship class she was in many years ago. It has been incredible to read in her own handwriting about her faith and love for God. Just two weeks ago I looked at it again and discovered something I had never seen before—a remark she had made about my life. In fact, it was something I had never known she thought about me, and reading it in her own handwriting brought me such joy. It was if she was speaking right to me.

How many times do we hesitate sharing our feelings with those we care about? What makes us hesitate?  Are we afraid we will be judged? Are we afraid that we will not live up to their expectations?  Are we concerned our words will hurt them? Are we even afraid they will not care about our thoughts?  Our human mind creates all kinds of scenarios, but in the very end, those scenarios mean very little. What matters is telling those we love how we feel, and just letting God take care of what must needs to be taken care of.

When Mama praised you, it was special. What I read that day in her work book, I would have loved to have known while she was living. If I had known she felt about me in that way, we could have shared our hearts in ways that might have made us so much more closer.

Thank you, Mama, for always sharing your faith and your love. You fought for me. You believed in me. You passed on your fighting heart to me, and your belief in other people's potential.  You passed from this earth strong in spirit just as you always were. You left behind your legacy of faith that always speaks peace no matter what I face. It is because of you that I believe today.