The sin I wrote about yesterday was fear. It took me a long time to understand that my fear had died long ago on the cross with Jesus.
Throughout my life, feelings of fear would arise, and I would either address them through action or push them down deep inside. I had taught God’s Word for years, written devotionals, and helped others in their faith. But when I was suddenly faced with an illness spiraling out of control, that spirit of fear rose to devour me. I knew God was the only one who could help me. I understood the Word, but when all those years of knowledge brought no relief, I realized HIS knowledge had not become mine. I was desperate, and I knew His Word was my only answer. As the fear and sickness escalated over the next few months, I intentionally continued to put my faith in the Word. His Word was truth and life. What I didn’t know in my heart was my problem. Not knowing the Word was killing me.
Some people may not consider fear a sin. However, fear comes against faith, and what is not of faith in my life is sin (Romans 14:23). Fear was my sin, consuming and convincing me that I had no power to overcome it. In 1 John 5:18, the Word said I was dead to sin, so I should be dead to fear. But how was I to get there? Like a drowning person, I tenaciously clung to the Word and mediated on it and studied it—again and again and again. I consumed the Word, praying over each word, and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal its truth for me. I would not let His Word go until it was quickened in my heart.
“Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love” (1 John 4:17-18).
I was starving for peace and healing. I meditated on these verses and many others—listening for the Holy Spirit, writing down each perspective and thought. I wrote. I prayed and cried out to God for understanding. I received. I rejoiced. I followed His guidance through the Scriptures. Each day took me on a journey toward freedom.
I did not need to fear because I had received His perfect love that casts out fear when I was saved by grace through faith. It took nine months for me to KNOW that, at the cross, my fear had been conquered and removed as far as the east is from the west in Jesus’ perfect love. And in the KNOWING, His perfect love came alive in my heart, defeating the fear instilled by medical professionals that I would have this illness for the rest of my life.
I grew to understand that as Jesus is, so am I in this world. His righteousness lives in me. Any form of unrighteousness is dead. I have the cleansing of His perfect love, which overcame sin, hell, death, and all of evil’s unrighteous fruit. Sin cannot exist in Christ’s righteousness, nor can its evil fruit, sickness. The truths I sowed in my heart were finally conceived in my heart. The spirit of fear was being overcome. The more I knew Jesus to be alive in me, the less control fear and sickness had over me. One day, I stepped out in faith against the diagnosis I had been given for the rest of my life. The healing Jesus died to give me became mine when every ounce of my being touched Him.
“Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed” (1 Peter 2:24).
I discovered that “that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness” is the finished work of His perfect love. When this truth was finally conceived in my heart, it came to life within me. Healing was all Him; it was not a result of anything I did, but rather the outcome of all He did within me when He bore my sins in His own body on the cross.
“Knowing” His truth in your heart is a process. It is your journey. It will not look like anyone else’s journey of faith. There is no formula—no list of things to do for God to manifest His promises in your life. You receive His promises through faith. The journey to reach the point where you receive through faith can be instant, short, long, or very long. But you must never give up. Jesus is with you throughout the entire process until you know that you know that you know. You can reach the place where you, like Abraham, do not waver at God's promises through unbelief but are strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being fully convinced that what God has promised you, He can do (Romans 4:20).
Jesus illustrated how the kingdom of God operates according to the natural and spiritual laws of sowing and reaping (Mark 4:1-20). He compared natural seeds to the Word of God, elaborating on the different types of soils and hearts and their potential yields.
Whether fear, sickness, or anything else that torments you, sowing God’s Word in your heart and receiving its promise takes time. Healing is a harvest, whether immediate, like a miraculous gift of healing, or progressive, like recovering over time. In each instance, a word from God must be conceived in someone's heart.
What you are “conceiving” or “knowing” in your heart today will be what you reap tomorrow. Many don’t see the importance of conception; they quickly complain or become discouraged when they see no results. You are accountable for what you nurture in your heart. Each of us can embrace the blessings and promises of God if we choose. While you may not control the timing of the harvest, your faith will either flourish or diminish depending on whether you have taken a word from God to heart.
A woman who has conceived a child does not doubt that she will one day give birth. A farmer who has sown a seed does not doubt that one day he will see the fruit of that seed. A believer who has conceived a promise of healing or restoration should be just as convinced. Faith depends on “hearing” and the “conception” of your promise in your heart (Romans 10:17).
Understanding God’s truth is a process of hearing and sowing His Word, nurturing it, and conceiving it in your heart. You have a seed to sow. Faith without action is dead. The Holy Spirit continually reveals the answer to your need, but you must hear Him and act by faith upon what you have heard and conceived in your heart. Stretching out with all within you, you reach out and touch the hem of His garment. And all that is within Jesus flows out of Him into you. And you are whole.
“But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty” (Matthew 13:23).
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