Today would have been my mother's 88th
birthday. My heart aches so much for her sometimes, but then I remember that she
is no longer struggling to breathe or in pain. Her life was hard at times, but
there was always one true constant. It was her faith in Jesus Christ. She is
free in every way now. Jesus is with her in heaven, and she is at peace.
He is also here with me on earth. I do not need to always
feel His presence. I know He is with me. To ask for the sensory experience of
His presence all the time is, in a way, to ask for proof or for a sign. I do not
need a sign. I know His peace that passes understanding even when all around
feels so dark. I know in whom I believe, and know He is able to keep me safe no
matter what happens.
Anyway, does it matter what I feel? What matters is who
He is, and that He shall ever be with me. He is my strength when I feel weak. He
is my peace when I feel shaken. Feelings depend upon moods, circumstances, and
outward pressures. His peace comes from within my heart. and never from outward
temporary relief. I may be influenced by circumstances, but He never is. His
promise is always kept. He is with me, and He never forsakes me.
Thank you, Mama, for always sharing your faith and your
love. You fought for me. You believed in me. You passed on your fighting heart
to me, and your belief in other people's potential. On February 3rd
of this year you peacefully passed from this life's fears and struggles to
heaven. You passed from this earth strong in spirit just as you always were. You
left behind your legacy of faith that always speaks peace no matter what I face.
It is because of you that I believe today.
Today I rest in His presence. Today I feel it. Tomorrow I
might not. But whatever I feel, I know, that my Redeemer is constant and
unchanging. And that is all I need.
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