“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5).
It is so easy to find fault with others and not look for their best. Someone did something wrong. Someone said something that was insensitive. Someone is selfish. Someone doesn't take my feelings into account. The list goes on and on. This is how it is when I want things my way. I have the attitude of “I'm right and you're wrong.”. Actually, when I don’t line up with Scripture and God’s plan, then it is just wrong. It is not my job to judge others. Judging others reveals selfishness, and shows I have no selfless consideration. It is not my job to decide what others do and say. I can't control another person's action, but I can control my reaction externally and internally. Externally I can allow it to just roll off my shoulder instead of turning it into a chip on my shoulder with a bad attitude. Internally I can allow the Holy Spirit to deal with feelings that rise up, and bring them under His control. As Christians we sometimes need to have a hide of a rhinoceros and and heart of a dove.
Satan’s plan is to destroy all of our relationships with others with selfish thoughts and bad attitudes. He especially uses a chip on the shoulder to destroy relationships with family, friends, and especially church family. Some of the biggest misunderstandings are because of something which started as trivial and then grew out-of-hand. Where God builds His kingdom, Satan tries to destroy. Satan will fail when faced with forgiving hearts and minds. He will fail when we recognize the importance of another person's heart. He will fail when we put another person's need before our own. God blessed us with individuality. The plan of your life, and the plan for my life is not going to be the same, but we must live out the love of Jesus in non-judgmental and forgiving relationships.
Are we easily hurt or offended? Do we have feelings of rejection? If we don't allow the Holy Spirit to heal hurts and damaged emotions these feelings can erupt at a moment's notice. Feelings and emotions which are not placed at the foot of the cross can erupt in ugly bitterness. If they aren't crucified with Christ they can conquer our minds and hearts.
There is healing of the hurt of past, the present, and the imagined hurt of the future. The past is gone. The present is what I allow Him to make it, and the future is not mine to know anyway. I will make every effort to be “renewed in the spirit of my mind” everyday (Ephesians 4:23), I will always ask the Lord to show me when I need to change my attitude, and when I need to just forgive. I want to learn the freedom of not needing to have the last word.
Leisa Rayborn and Lynn Lacher