Forgive
God and Forgive Yourself
“Forgive
and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37b, NIV).
Have
you ever felt like God has failed you? Perhaps you believe He made
you a promise that He didn't keep. Perhaps your whole world has been
turned upside down and your heart is broken. He is your Father and He
is suppose to care for you. Why did He let something happen that you
believed with all your heart He would prevent? The hurt escalates.
One of two things happen. You either become outwardly angry with God
and run away from Him, or you internalize that anger and feel guilty
for your anger. Either way you end up at the same location.
Unforgiveness has taken root. That unforgiveness robs you of your joy
and peace.
Do
you have trouble forgiving God for what you believe is His failure,
and have trouble forgiving yourself for being angry at Him? “Do not
judge,” Jesus instructs, “and you will not be judged. Do not
condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be
forgiven” (Luke 6:37). “I can't judge God” you tell yourself,
“so I can't be angry at Him for failing me. It is wrong for me to
believe He has failed me!” So here you are. You don't want to sin
and be angry at Him so you become angry at your own inability to
forgive Him. In condemning Him, you feel condemned. A horrible cycle
of self-destruction begins.
The
cycle must be broken. Admit your anger. Admit you need to forgive not
only Him, but you need to forgive yourself. You have a choice what to
do with the disillusionment, the hurt, and the anger. If you allow
that hurt to define who you are, anger will immobilize you. You are
then in bondage to your inability to forgive God and forgive
yourself. The Holy Spirit invites you to forgive so that you might be
free from its bondage. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is
freedom,” Paul writes (2 Corinthians 3:17). God does not want you
in bondage to your hurt or your disillusionment over what you
perceive as a failed promise. That hurt and anger can become your own
failure. You have the freedom and the power to forgive God and to
forgive yourself.
Be
real with God. Tell Him you have been angry at Him because you
believe He has failed you. Tell God you have been mad at yourself for
being angry at Him. Ask for His forgiveness, and daily decide to
forgive. Never close the door that the Holy Spirit has opened.
Continue to be honest with God when hurt tries to build. You have
asked forgiveness for judging God and judging yourself. Some days
will be easier than others. Don't condemn yourself on harder days.
Lay all the hurt and unforgiveness on His altar again and again. You
have begun your journey of healing.
Now
climb your mountain of healing daily. As you struggle up its slope,
He carries more and more of your load, and the climb grows easier.
One day you will discover you have arrived at the top. And you
realize that your burden is completely gone. You are free, and all
the self-destructive anger is gone forever. You know God has never
failed, and forgiveness will not only flow for you. It will flow for
others, too.
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