“The first and most important one is this,” Jesus replied—‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength’. The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself’. No other commandment is greater than these.”
—Mark 12:31, J B Phillips
Some Christians build a theology around something they consider wrong. A virtue can also be made out of a vice. It’s impossible to think incorrectly and live correctly, or to believe error and exercise truth. We must let God and His Word correct any wrong beliefs.
Demeaning yourself isn’t true Christian humility; it actually contradicts some fundamental teachings of our Christian faith. The great commandment is to love God with all your being. The second commandment is an addition to the first—to love your neighbor as yourself. We don’t have just two commandments. Within these two, there are three commandments: to love God, to love yourself, and to love others. Loving yourself is second only to loving God, as Jesus explicitly stated that self-love is the foundation for loving anyone else. The term “self-love” carries a negative meaning to many individuals. Regardless of whether it’s referred to as self-love or self-worth, it’s undoubtedly the basis of our Christian love for others. This idea of self-love contradicts the beliefs of many Christians.
Do you believe that you need to belittle yourself? You need to correct this belief. When you love God, yourself, and others, you are fulfilling the entire law of God (Matthew 5:43-48). When Jesus proclaimed the law, He did not endorse or glorify it, unlike some Pharisees who did. Instead, he was emphatically reiterating the fundamental principle of the eternal three-in-one—a genuine love for God, for ourselves, and for others. This fundamental principle of God is inherent in the very nature of the universe, and it works within each one of us. A person with a positive self-image is healthier in every aspect of life compared to someone with low self-esteem. This is the way God designed you, and if you deviate from the way He created you to be, you’re not only embracing erroneous theology but also paving the way for your own downfall.
Many Scriptures suggests the importance of a positive self-image. The Apostle Paul said it was the basis for one of the most intimate relationships of all—marriage. “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies,” he declared. “He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29, NASB).
J.B. Phillip rephrased Ephesians 5:28 in this way: “The love a man gives his wife is the extending of his love for himself to enfold her.” The very best example of this love is given in the next verse: “And that is what Christ does for His body, the Church.” Then Paul emphasized this self-love again." Let every one of you who is a husband love his wife as he loves himself, and let every wife respect her husband.”
If someone has little love for himself, this is the very reason their marriage will eventually fall apart; they are loving their spouse the way they love themself. Degrading oneself works its way through a marriage and begins to destroy it. If you’re going to be a good husband or wife where you don’t require constant affirmation and validation from your spouse, a genuine understanding and careful nourishing of your own worth are absolutely necessary.
A good self-esteem is crucial to love your neighbor. Paul’s advice in Romans 12:3 is to the point; each believer should not think more highly of themselves than they should, but should think with sober judgment. Clear-headed judgment is balanced. It doesn’t overestimate or underestimate. Satan is the one who confuses and blinds us, accusing us with words like, “Oh, be careful. Don’t feel too good about yourself.” True humility neither demeans or promotes.
A Christian exercising true humility is totally dependent on God’s estimation of them. Individuals with low self-esteem are constantly striving to prove themselves. This is partly because they may feel unappreciated and exploited, and they don’t believe God’s estimation them. Someone with a poor self-image is consumed by feelings of rejection rather than God’s love for them. They are constantly looking at themselves, wondering about themselves, constantly seeking praise, and manipulating others into reassuring them.
It’s challenging to truly unconditionally love others when you’re constantly seeking affirmation of your own worth. While it may appear you’re loving someone, you might be using them to reassure yourself that you’re okay.
Trying to demean yourself in the eyes of others isn’t a part of true humility or godliness. It’s actually thinking less of the value God has placed on your life in Jesus Christ. Self-crucifixion and self-surrender should never involve this kind of false humility.
You develop your self-worth and value from God, not from the distorted mirrored images of your past. The healing of a poor self-image hinges on following through on a commitment to seek God’s truth for oneself, to be captivated by it, and to be obedient to the faith it inspires.
Will you succumb to Satan’s lies, innuendos, accusations, and hurts of the past, allowing unhealthy, unChrist-like feelings and beliefs to bind you? Or will you seek your self-worth from God and His Word?
To cultivate a healed and healthy self-image, you must pursue knowing God. As you grow to know Him, your image of yourself will begin to agree with God’s assessment of you. As you take in the Word as your own, you will begin to see yourself through the eyes of the Lord rather than those of the old man who died on the cross with Jesus. Are you hungry to experience God’s love, transforming your self-image? In the next devotional, let’s start the process to make the value God has placed on your life yours and to co-partner with the Holy Spirit to see it accomplished.
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