You Are A Privilege

 

Jesus, are we like Your disciples before the indwelling of Your Spirit, following You around but not really understanding who You are? I’m still learning who You are in me. I don’t want to be distracted with discussions of man’s opinion of You. I don’t want tradition and religion consuming me. I just want to hear You speaking and Your power transforming me until it’s only You in me. 

Jesus, You were the Word in the beginning, and You are still the Word now. All things were made through You, and without You nothing was made. You created me. In You is life. Your light is life in me. I don’t want any darkness in me to keep me from knowing You. I don’t want to listen to talking points about You or hear about spiritual movements that are of You or aren’t of You. I want to know You crucified and the power of Your resurrection. I want You, the Word, full of grace and truth, living in me.

I pray for those who only want to know about You. I pray for those who believe they are truly seeking You but there’s something holding them back from letting You have all of them. Perhaps, it’s pride, a fear of man, a deep wound, an offense, a sense of unworthiness, or a fear of missing the mark. Perhaps, they are just seeking You too desperately, and it has become their work. In their frustration, they cannot let go and allow You to work in them. I know this, Jesus, for I have been there. I have made You a work when all you wished was to have the deepest fellowship with me. 

You are a privilege, not a work, Jesus. Prayer is my privilege, Jesus. It’s only hard when I see it as a work. Jesus, pray in me. I cannot imagine praying without You, Holy Spirit. You know all things. I don’t. You know my flesh needs to be avoided. I’m subject to selfishness. Jesus, You aren’t. Praying in You builds my faith. You complete me, Jesus.

You woke me out of a deep sleep. I heard Your longing for Your children. I felt Your pain for our striving. I heard, “Wasn’t it enough for Me to give My life for My children to know Me?”

I offer You these written words as an offering, Jesus. I cannot create hunger or trust in anyone. I cannot crucify any fear or tradition. You yearn to gather You children close and have fellowship spirit to Spirit.

I fail at times. But Jesus, please, right now use me for Your highest. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart bring You nothing but joy.