“God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you’re there then up ahead and you’re there, too—your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful—I can’t take it all in. Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? To be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, you’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting! ” (Psalm 139:1-10, MSG).
The psalmist cried out to God praising Him for His constant and abiding presence, and declaring that nothing in his life was hidden from Him. The psalmist's life before God was an open book. God's constant love was too incredible for him to fathom! How wonderful to have such an absolute reassurance of God's faithfulness no matter what I go through! If God is there for me and wants to help me, why do I sometimes try to hide from Him? He knows me intimately because He created me (Psalm 139:13-16). Yet, sometimes I still hide from him. Sometimes my heart closes to His calling and to His need, because that means that I must become vulnerable. To regard my life as an open book before the world can be a terrifying feeling. But God is not the world. He is my Creator, my Savior, and He knows everything about me. He longs for me to stop erecting walls of what I perceive to be protection. I can't hide from Him, but I can erect walls that keep His love from reaching me. The only way that His love can lift me into His reassuring presence is to let my walls down and surrender all of me to all of Him.
In surrender I discover the truth that where He is there is really freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17). Where once I might have tried to avoid exposure of my failures, and even sin, I now long for His light to shine in every corner of my life, revealing what I need to change. I know His love and forgiveness will be extended. I yearn for the revealing, yet reassuring, presence of His Spirit! Where once I sought to be hidden in “safety” from Him, I now realize the ridiculous stupidity of that attempt. Safety is found in my surrender to His love‒not in the energy I might expend to keep him out. Why would I ever believe that I need protection from the God who created and saved my life?
Investigate my life, Lord. Hold me to your truth, and bring me to my knees if I try to erect walls again. Always create whatever I need that drives me to you, and keeps me an open book before you. You know my thoughts before I think them, and my words before I speak. You know the words I will write before I even begin to write. You have walked with me in the past. You are with me now, and you will be with me in my future. You will never leave me or forsake me. That is all I need to know. I have your constant presence, and unending love.