Have you ever felt like God has
failed you? Perhaps you believe He made you a promise that He didn't keep.
Perhaps your whole world has been turned upside down, and your heart is broken.
He is your Father and He is supposed to care for you. Why did He let something
happen that you believed with all your heart He would prevent? If your hurt
escalates, one of two things happen. You become outwardly angry with God and
turn from Him, or you internalize that anger and feel guilty for your anger.
Either way you end up at the same location. Unforgiveness has taken root.
Do you have trouble forgiving God
for what you believe is His failure, and have trouble forgiving yourself for
being angry at Him? “Do not judge,” Jesus instructs, “and you will not be
judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be
forgiven” (Luke 6:37). “I can't judge God” you tell yourself, “so I can't be angry
at Him for failing me. It is wrong for me to believe He has failed me!” So here
you are. You don't want to be angry at Him so you become angry at your own
inability to forgive Him. In condemning Him, you feel condemned. A horrible
cycle of self-destruction begins.
You have a choice what to do with
the disillusionment, the hurt, and the anger. If you allow that hurt to define
who you are, anger will immobilize you. You are then in bondage to your
inability to forgive God and forgive yourself. “Where the Spirit of the Lord
is, there is freedom,” Paul writes (2 Corinthians 3:17). The Holy Spirit
invites you to acknowledge the hurt that caused the anger so you might forgive.
God does not want you in bondage to your hurt or your disillusionment over what
you believe is a failed promise. That hurt and anger can become your own
failure. Admit your anger. Admit you have judged God. Admit you need His help.
You have the freedom and the power to forgive God and to forgive yourself.
Be real with God. Tell Him you have
been angry at Him because you believe He has failed you. Tell God you have been
mad at yourself for being angry at Him. Ask for His forgiveness, and daily
decide to forgive. Never close the door that the Holy Spirit opens. Continue to
be honest with God when hurt tries to build. Some days will be easier than
others. Don't condemn yourself on harder days. Lay all the hurt and
unforgiveness on His altar again and again. You have begun your journey of
healing.
Now climb your mountain of healing
daily. As you struggle up its slope, He carries more and more of your load, and
the climb grows easier. One day you will discover you have arrived at the top.
And you realize that your burden is completely gone. You are free, and all the
self-destructive anger is gone forever. You know God has never failed, and
forgiveness will not only flow for you. It will flow for others.
© 2017 Lynn Lacher
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