I never know who I will find when I see you, Daddy. You might be my father or my friend or my brother or even my child. You might look at me without recognition, or you might grin, drawing me into your heart. You might frown, sigh, and turn away from me. You might regard me with those blue eyes—aware that you know me, but unable to realize who I am to you. The moment that I first see you each day reveals whether my heart will rejoice that you remember or be sad that you have gone.
This morning I found these Scriptures. They remind me of you, but they are also about me. “O Lord, you have examined my heart,” I read, “and know everything about me. When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn” (Psalm 139:1; Psalm 142:3, NLT). He knows your heart, Daddy, and everything about you—just as He knows mine and all about me. He knows this lonely valley you are in right now, and He wants you to know that you are not alone. He carries the heaviest load beyond our imagination. He wishes me to know that He also knows my heart. One day at a time He carries me through loss with a love that strengthens and protects. And when I am overwhelmed by your need and my lack of direction, He shows me the way to turn. He guides me in each decision to be made.
There is such peace in knowing that God knows where you are in your mind before I even arrive at Autumn Cove. There is peace in knowing He has prepared my heart for whatever state I will find you in. This peace doesn’t mean there isn’t pain in my heart. But it does mean that I know He is in control—handling what is beyond my ability to handle—carrying a load beyond my ability to carry—loving you with a depth of love that takes my breath away. And in this moment when nothing seems right in your world or in mine, it really is. All is perfect in His.
© 2017 Lynn Lacher