I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. —Psalm 16:8 (NLT)
Daddy, you have been my example of commitment and love. I saw you live unselfishly for Mama for years and years. I walked beside you—supporting you and making decisions when it was too difficult for you—not really able to understand the loss you were going through then. And now I am unable to really understand the loss you are going through now.
Just as you walked with Mama, we now walk with you. Jeanie, Pat, and I are here through the days you no longer remember. You don’t know it, but our lives revolve around you. You are the subject of our conversations. Your needs are always discussed, and your feelings and comfort are paramount in our decisions about your care. You are visited twice a day, and each of us has a different perspective that gives your care the full attention you deserve.
As much as we would like to make everything perfect for you, we can’t. We can’t fix what has happened to your brilliant mind which once created, invented, solved problems and was concerned about the little things others often missed. We can’t fix your loss that we really don’t understand, but we do know one thing. You are not alone. The Lord is right beside you. You don’t need to be shaken. He is always with you.
You may be losing yourself, Daddy, but we are also losing you. Each day is another reminder that what we once experienced with you, will never happen again. Without God’s constant strength, we wouldn’t make it through this time of loss. We will not be shaken, but will stand knowing that God is right beside us, carrying us through the pain of your loss and allowing us to see a glimpse of the joy to come.
Two days ago I held your hand while you shook uncontrollably, and we begin to take flight together. We raced down the runway, and God lifted us up into His sky. We soared together, Daddy, and you spoke, from within my memory. Glancing from the cockpit with that precious grin on your face you said, “Look at this creation below us, Lynn. How can someone not believe in Him?”
You relaxed on the bed as we flew above our loss. How can they not believe, Daddy? He is always with us.
©2018 Lynn Lacher