Good Friday. The day that my sin cost Jesus His life. It was not just any day. It was the day Jesus proved His love for me. He walked the path of pain and death, carrying the excruciating weight of my sin. This was His walk to death so I might be reborn in new life in God.
God’s deepest desire is for me to live in fellowship with Him. He yearns for me to know Him intimately as He knows me—to know in my heart the new life I received when I was born again. That one moment when all my sin was washed away by His grace is the moment His unconditional love became mine. The greatest exchange took place. He took my sin so I might have His righteousness. My old life and everything that defined my life died with Him so I might be raised with Him in new life. Nothing—no nothing—can ever match the love of God for me in the gift of Jesus. I didn’t have to earn His love to be saved. He gave it freely. I don’t have to earn His love now. I receive it not because of what I do but because of who He is. He keeps on giving more and more grace in every moment. And I keep on receiving more and more grace. The truth of His life for mine keeps changing me.
Although I was saved sixty-seven years ago, I spent most of my life not living in the freedom and fullness of God’s unconditional love and grace. I remained in my old life on the wrong side of the cross not receiving the freedom that His grace had purchased for me. My old life still defined who I was. I was stuck knowing there was much more to receive but never being able to find it. But I kept on trying. I wanted to believe that someday fear would not hold me captive. That someday doubt would not plague me. That someday I would be free of choking feelings of condemnation—of never meeting the standards of others or of God. Someday seemed like it would never come. But the Holy Spirit kept drawing me to my new life on the right side of the cross. He kept telling me that I was new but didn’t know it in my heart. He kept telling me that it was not my work to convince myself. It was His.
The truths of my new life in Jesus kept drawing and challenging me. One day in sickness that continued on and on, I just gave up trying. I gave up questioning why God didn’t love me enough to take away the fear and doubt and sickness and pain. I gave up trying to prove to Him that I was worthy of His love. I began to consume His Word. When fear would suddenly hit—when the enemy’s voice screamed death, I chose God’s Word of life instead of feelings of despair and death. I chose to believe His Word instead of the opinions of others. I believed God’s truth that I could not feel or see.
As I meditated on His Word and prayed, I began to understand that it was impossible for me to live up to God’s standard. Jesus had already lived up to that standard for me. He saw me worthy enough to die for. I began to realize that the cross had already given me His new life, and that new life was meant to overcome everything old in my life. I didn’t have to live in death. I didn’t have to live in sickness. I didn’t have to live beneath what my precious Savior had given me. God wanted me to see myself through His perfect love.
The Bible had always been a someday book for me. Now the Holy Spirit opened the revelation of it to me. The Word took on new consistency—new power and life. My spiritual eyes were opened to the truth that Jesus had already won everything for me long ago before I even existed or committed a sin. I was now born-again and made new by the Holy Spirit in my spirit. The truths of my new life of righteousness and healing had always been in my spirit for me to receive, but I would have to take them as my own. I would have to take them by faith—without seeing, feeling or experiencing them.
I purposed to believe His Word no matter what my eyes saw or what I felt. I began to receive God’s love as I never had before. I begin to see God’s image of me. Slowly, despair began to surrender to joy, fear began to surrender to peace, and sickness began to surrender to health. One day at a time, I was receiving the healing wholeness of the finished work of Jesus in me. I was receiving more and more of His grace. One day at a time, my spiritual eyes opened to the truths of my new life in Jesus. The Word was no longer a someday book.
The Word keeps challenging me. I keep on believing every day that I am no longer a slave to sin and sickness. My relationship with God is joyful beyond any words. I have peace and fellowship with my Father. And I receive the promises that are inherent in my relationship with Him. They are yes, and amen, through His glory working in my life. The Holy Spirit may have given me new life in my spirit, but I’m still receiving His new life in my mind, will, emotions, and body. I choose everyday to live in His new life on the right side of the cross. I’m still learning the revelation of His grace in my heart.
Thank you, Holy Spirit, for your revelation of your unconditional love and grace. Jesus, your cross of disgrace became my cross of grace. Thank you for your love that never lets me go. Your life poured out for me gave me the power of your resurrection. I will never be the same. Help each one of your children struggling with condemnation and fear and pain and sickness realize that you have more and more grace for them. That there is grace for their every need. There is grace for healing. There is grace for forgiveness. Keep giving me the message of your heart, dear Jesus. I will share it. I will write it. I will teach it. I will love with it. That is all I can do. You do the rest. Please open hearts right at this moment. This is not a someday book. It is the abundant life you died to give. Amen.
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