“God is love” (1 John 4:8b, NIV)
Yesterday morning I sat by you, Daddy—my head resting upon
your shoulder. You were quiet and withdrawn. You stared straight ahead into
some world of which I am not a part. Tears fell from your eyes and crushed my
heart. I held your hand and kept telling you that you are not alone—that you
are loved. You couldn’t form into words the questions you needed answered—the
things you longed to have explained. It was beyond your ability, and you were
so tired. You finally fell into an exhausted sleep. I watched you for a long
time. You were at peace and totally relaxed and removed from your present life.
I gently moved myself away so I wouldn’t awaken you. Last night I returned to
be with you during your scheduled assessment from your insurance company. I
knew it would be a long and tiring evening for you. You were asked questions
that made no sense to you. Some you tried to answer. Others you just stared
straight ahead and ignored. Following the questions on her form the nurse asked
for you to a hold a pen and write a sentence. Only a week ago you had been
unable to hold a pen and write—not only because of your vision but also because
you couldn’t make sense of the paper you had asked me to bring. But last night when the nurse asked you to
write a sentence, you allowed her to put the pen in your hand. Your hand slowly
gripped the pen, and found the paper. You carefully wrote a three word
sentence. When you had finished, she turned to me with tears in her eyes, and
handed me what you had written. “God is love” was shakily, but clearly written
across the page.
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