Just as we have been
approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to
please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
—1 Thessalonians 2:4
(CEB)
I would like to share
a story about two friends—Gertrude and Hortense. Perhaps you will be encouraged
to pray about an issue that the Holy Spirit has brought to your mind. Perhaps
God wants to use you to make a difference in the life of someone else, or
perhaps God wants to make a change in your own life by being willing to be
used. For weeks Gertrude watched as people avoided Hortense because Hortense felt
she always had to have an answer or a way to fix every problem. Gertrude knew
Hortense loved the Lord and prayed that God would show Hortense how the need to
always have an answer or a way to fix issues was pushing people away. Gertrude
didn’t want to be guilty of trying to fix Hortense, but pressure grew until
Gertrude realized the Holy Spirit was calling her to talk to Hortense. In 1
Thessalonians 2:4 Paul told the Thessalonians that he must tell them the
truth—no matter how difficult it might be for them to hear. The truth might not
be pleasing to them, but it was necessary for their well-being. Telling another
person God’s truth is one of the hardest, yet greatest, gifts you can impart.
It is hard because it places your personal relationship with someone in unknown
waters. It is great because it has the potential to reap a great reward.
Before ever approaching a friend about
your concern, humbly examine your own heart and your real motive. Be sure your
love for them is the motive. Be sure nothing stems from jealousy or resentment
or bitterness. You must place your own life on the altar before you can ever
say one word. Don’t have anything in your personal life which doesn’t support what
you say. Most importantly always speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Your
love or lack of it will be felt in your approach, choice of words and the tone
of your voice. Gertrude humbly and lovingly spoke with Hortense. In the
beginning Hortense was hurt, and even angry. However with constant love from Gertrude,
Hortense realized what Gertrude had said was true. Speaking the truth in love
means you are willing to invest your time—not just speak and then move on. Gertrude
helped Hortense realize that low self-esteem made her constantly seek the
approval of others. Through time Hortense came to understand that the need to
feel the love of God was what she really sought. His love was the acceptance
she had sought all along.
What if you are like Hortense and are
on the receiving end? If your friend comes to you “speaking the truth in love”,
listen with the love of Jesus. Realize that what you hear might not be pleasant
to your ears, but it also might be necessary to make a difference in your life.
Do not take it as a judgment of your character. Listen to what your friend says
and ask for the Lord to reveal if it is something that needs to be addressed.
Yes, there may be emotional feelings of hurt at first, but take the time and
pray about what has been said to you. God will use it to make a difference in
your life. The advice will either inspire you to change something in your life
or teach you how to respond without hurt to advice which, though you believe is
not needed, has been offered in love.
Whether you are called to speak the
truth in love or to be the person that receives it, remember this. The
sacrifice which is the hardest is often the one that brings the greatest
blessing.
© 2018 Lynn Lacher
www.lynnlacher.com/2018/08/speak-in-love.html
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