To "Feel"

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5, NIV).

“I am tired, Lord, and my mind has no peace. There is so much that I don't understand, and I'm sorry that I 'feel' like I need to see something in order to believe in your faithfulness. But that is where I am. I long to believe, but I just can't grasp it. I know that I should have enough faith to trust you. But everything has overwhelmed me.”

“Child,” he whispers, “I am here. You must choose to put your hope in me. In the midst of all the pain, of all the questioning, of all the wandering of your mind, you must choose to believe me even though you may not 'feel' it. Don't allow your thoughts and mind to wander. This morning your mind is bombarded with all kinds of thoughts that are not from me. I will take care of all the concerns of your mind and heart. There is rest in me. To rest in me means that you are captivated by me. It means that you choose to dwell on me instead of the lies that claim your mind. You must see those lies for what they intend to do, and that is destroy who you are in me. Those lies are sent by the enemy of your soul to rob you of my peace and joy and faith in me. Choose to believe me. Say you believe even if you don't 'feel' it. Your choice to believe is an act of will. I gave you the freedom to choose or reject my salvation. You also have the freedom to accept or reject the work of faith I wish to accomplish in your life. It is your choice. Determine to have confidence in what you hope for and to have assurance about what you do not see. Put your hope in me. Fight for your faith just like I died for yours.”

“Lord Jesus, I choose you! I choose to believe you. I might not 'feel' it at this moment, but I put my hope in you. I choose to shut down the wandering and terrible thoughts of 'what if” that explode in my mind. I choose to focus on your positive, Lord, and not the enemy's negative. I tell myself over and over that I choose to believe in what your Word tells me–that I can have perfect peace when my mind stays focused on you (Isaiah 26:3). I tell the enemy that he is defeated and he has no right to my life. I praise you, Lord Jesus, vocally, again and again and again until the lies of the enemy are silenced.”

“Child,” He responds, “it is at that moment those lies are silenced, that your sacrifice of praise (Hebrews 13:15) heralds the beginning of my healing in your life. You shall know in the very depths of your soul what you have chosen to believe. And you shall 'feel' it!”