“Where can I go from
your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you
are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings
of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will
guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will
hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be
dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you”
(Psalm 139:7-12, NIV).
There is nowhere to run–nowhere to hide. You are everywhere I
turn. You are everywhere I try to find relief that is not from you. Why do I
look where I already know there will be no lasting answer? Why do I try to flee
from what I know is the best for me? Why do I insist on my own way? How could I
have forgotten that you you will always find me, and hold me fast? You are with
me in my darkest moments and brightest days.
If I think the darkness will hide my pain from you, I am so
wrong. If I believe the darkness will conceal the struggles of my sinful heart,
then I am wrong. I may hold myself captive with bitterness, hurt, anger, and
resentment in a darkened place of no hope, but you are with me no matter where I
might try to hide. You are with me in that place. Help me to understand that is
in my surrender that I finally discover peace.
Lord, forgive me. Strengthen me. Raise me. Guide me. I am so
tired of holding this mask in place. You will carry me through the fire, and
give peace that my mind cannot comprehend. I am so thankful that nothing is
hidden from you. It is in the light that all is revealed. When I let go the
struggle to hide what you already know, I am finally free.
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