“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you” (Psalm 139:7-12, NIV).
There is nowhere to run–nowhere to hide. You are everywhere I turn. You are everywhere I try to find relief that is not from you. Why do I look where I already know there will be no lasting answer? Why do I try to flee from what I know is the best for me? Why do I insist on my own way? How could I have forgotten that you you will always find me, and hold me fast? You are with me in my darkest moments and brightest days.
If I think the darkness will hide my pain from you, I am so wrong. If I believe the darkness will conceal the struggles of my sinful heart, then I am wrong. I may hold myself captive with bitterness, hurt, anger, and resentment in a darkened place of no hope, but you are with me no matter where I might try to hide. You are with me in that place. Help me to understand that is in my surrender that I finally discover peace.
Lord, forgive me. Strengthen me. Raise me. Guide me. I am so tired of holding this mask in place. You will carry me through the fire, and give peace that my mind cannot comprehend. I am so thankful that nothing is hidden from you. It is in the light that all is revealed. When I let go the struggle to hide what you already know, I am finally free.