Have you ever felt like God has failed you?
Perhaps you believe He made you a promise that He didn't keep. Perhaps your
whole world has been turned upside down and your heart is broken. He is your
Father and He is suppose to care for you. Why did He let something happen that
you believed with all your heart He would prevent? The hurt escalates. One of
two things happen. You either become outwardly angry with God and run away from
Him, or you internalize that anger and feel guilty for your anger. Either way
you end up at the same location. Unforgiveness has taken root.
Do you have
trouble forgiving God for what you believe is His failure, and have trouble
forgiving yourself for being angry at Him? “Do not judge,” Jesus instructs, “and
you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive,
and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37). “I can't judge God” you tell yourself,
“so I can't be angry at Him for failing me. It is wrong for me to believe He has
failed me!” So here you are. You don't want to sin and be angry at Him so you
become angry at your own inability to forgive Him. In condemning Him, you feel
condemned. A horrible cycle of self-destruction begins.
You have a choice what to do with the disillusionment, the hurt, and
the anger. If you allow that hurt to define who you are, anger will immobilize
you. You are then in bondage to your inability to forgive God and forgive
yourself. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom,” Paul writes (2
Corinthians 3:17). The Holy Spirit invites you to acknowledge the hurt that
caused the anger so you might forgive. God does not want you in bondage to your
hurt or your disillusionment over what you believe is a failed promise. That
hurt and anger can become your own failure. Admit your anger. Admit you have
judged God. Admit you need His help. You have the freedom and the power to
forgive God and to forgive yourself.
Be real with God.
Tell Him you have been angry at Him because you believe He has failed you. Tell
God you have been mad at yourself for being angry at Him. Ask for His
forgiveness, and daily decide to forgive. Never close the door that the Holy
Spirit has opened. Continue to be honest with God when hurt tries to build. Some
days will be easier than others. Don't condemn yourself on harder days. Lay all
the hurt and unforgiveness on His altar again and again. You have begun your
journey of healing.
Now climb your
mountain of healing daily. As you struggle up its slope, He carries more and
more of your load, and the climb grows easier. One day you will discover you
have arrived at the top. And you realize that your burden is completely gone.
You are free, and all the self-destructive anger is gone forever. You know God
has never failed, and forgiveness will not only flow for you. It will flow for
others.
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